New Decade, New Perspective, NEW MONEY MINDSET
Since starting my Coaching Practice, I have come to learn some very intriguing insights that unify us ladies together.
Oh course, women have shared with me their desires to loose "those extra pounds" or that they struggle with perfectionism. But I was so surprised to learn that like me, these women were struggling with their relationship with money.
One of the things I have come to learn about money is that we have an ass-backwards perspective on it and it's time to change a few things right now. It is time to take control of your finances. I mean it. To quote the Boss Babe Queen herself, Rachel Hollis, "Know your shit". You need to know how and when your money comes in. Where and to who your money goes too. I can not believe how many women, myself formerly included, rely on automated pay or their spouses to make financial decisions. I'm not trying to judge you ladies, trust me, I've been on both sides of the fence. But it doesn't mean it's an excuse to not be involved. I've come a long way and I feel it necessary to share a few things that have helped me along the way.
1. Read "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. Seriously, download the audible today and do yourself a favor. I could not believe how much I didn't know about money until I gave this book a read. As with any book, take what you can from it and leave what doesn't resonate with you. In the book the main focus is paying down debt, but there are two chapters about insurance and savings that are going to seriously blow your mind.
2. Create a budget/spreadsheet of how you spend your money.You need to know how and when your money comes in. Where and to who your money goes too. You need to know how much you are spending on every single thing down to the kitty litter each month. It sounds daunting, but it actually took me less than an hour to figure this shit out and get the digital print out of the last few months from my Wells Fargo online banking statements. From there, put it down on paper.
3. You need to sit down and journal about your relationship with money. SAY WHAT?! Yes, you need to understand the relationship you have with money. I'm talking about expectations, feelings and mental connection. For example, for decades my relationship with money was solely about SAFETY. To me, money meant security and safety. Without it, I would be homeless, on the streets, or when I was younger, it meant I'd have to move back in with my mom. Lack of money created fear in me because I was taught in my teenage years that when you don't have enough money, bad things will happen to you. Thus, that fear propelled me into my teaching career under false delusions of "security". If I have a teaching career, I will have retirement, medical benefits and a steady pay check. How naive I was. I too soon found out that NO ONE is guaranteed ANY career or job security, let alone financial security. It wasn't until I really sat down with myself and wrote out my limiting beliefs around money that I was able to gain true clarity around the current state of a financial relationship and get clear on creating the type of financial relationship I really wanted.
As women, we tend to carry most things back to shame. Money is no different. We are ashamed to talk about money, look at our financial situation or seek education or change around it because we feel ASHAMED for not being where we THINK we should be financially. We are too busy hiding behind credit, aka the "filters" of the material world to walk into freedom and empowerment around money. We are too busy trying to pretend to "look the part" in fear of being judged by others.
4. Lastly, try replacing the word "money" with the word "energy" for a day. Before making a purchase, reframe your thought process to, "Is this product/service worth my exchange of personal energy"? In other words, if money is merely energy and everything we buy in turn is energy, make sure that your energy exchange is compatible. If your money is an extension of the energy it took to cultivate it, make sure the exchange of that energy is in alignment with your personal beliefs and values. It's okay that the delicious oat milk lavender chai at my favorite coffee house costs $4.00, because that energy is a positive energy I value and am willing to exchange my personal energy for.
You deserve to feel just as good about money as you do in any other area of your life. Dedicate one afternoon to an honest conversation with yourself. If you are married, have a conversation with your spouse AFTER you are clear on your personal relationship with money.